The Grass is Always Greener...

By the time I had my son, I had worked for many years. I was ready for a break. Don't get me wrong... I didn't have a baby just to get out of work. That was just a fringe benefit.

I was worn out. Tired. Sick and tired. I was definitely at the same job too long. The people were getting to me. Interpersonal problems took up so much of my time and energy and, when I was feeling so tired, I just couldn't see my way past all that. Then, along came Leif.

I enjoy spending time with him. It is a privilege that I know not many moms get. All day, every day. In his two years, he has learned more than I could ever imagine learning. There are moments when I have to sit back and realize that I am actually having a conversation with him. One that makes sense. Amazing.

But, there are lots of moments when I am tired. Sick and tired. Doing the same thing too long. He gets to me, taking so much of my time and energy. I am so tired that there are moments and days when I just can't see my way past all that.

I have found myself lately looking at job postings. The two applications I sent out got no response but they made me think. When I was working, I would have done anything to get out for a while. So, now that the grass is greener, I realize that greener grass just needs to be cut more often.

The Curse of Being Just Plain Old Better Than Everyone Else

Ok. I am getting pretty close to done. I go to the playground and get ignored by the other mothers. I take my son to "mommy and me" classes and get ignored (for the most part). It is getting really tiring. And it reminds me of high school.

Except that in high school the reasons I was ignored were different. I was the fat, smart, talented, quiet as long as you don't poke her with a stick type. Now, it's because my kid is the cutest, most advanced, smartest, most likely to hire the other kids for menial jobs later in life.

I mean, that's gotta be the reason. Don't you think? Well, it's my story and I'm sticking to it.